Feb 19, 2007 9:52 pm US/Central
Single Parents Face Extra Hurdles In Dating Scene
by Dennis Douda
(WCCO)
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Single parents should be prepared when they bring their children into a new relationship, because biological loyalties will be stronger for them.
AP
If you believe the estimates, more than half of all marriages end in divorce, which means a lot of single parents are populating the dating pool.
According to
Divorce Magazine, more American households have children being raised by one parent, than by two married parents.
Candice Peters remembers when her parents split, and she didn't understand.
"My mom got remarried when I was 8, and I wasn't happy at the beginning and neither was my stepbrother and stepsister," she said.
Bestselling author Dr. John Friel says a problem many couples make is to put the children first and the parental relationship further down the list.
"The two adult parents are the primary relationship in that family system. And if they aren't the primary relationship the system is in trouble," said Friel, adding the danger is that children may never learn how to be in giving, fulfilling partnerships.
The University of Minnesota's Dr. Richelle Moen Moore says dating responsibly can ultimately be good for children.
"We can't be with our children all the time either, and if a mom is stressed out and unhappy, a child can also absorb that anxiety," she said.
Both experts agreed single moms and dads are wise to proceed slowly.
"I think it's important for people to hold off on involving the children until it seems like the relationship is going somewhere," said Friel.
Ultimately, blending families can be a healthy test of a couple's ability to handle conflict and complexity, which is what life together is all about.
Nearly 20 years later, Candice Peters' parents are still married, and she still appreciates how they helped her accept her new role.
"It just took a loving family and stability to make us understand that it was OK," she said.
According to Friel, single parents should be prepared when they bring their children into a new relationship, because biological loyalties will be stronger for them. The feelings are primitive and ingrained, so it's important to remain sensitive to them.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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