Feb 7, 2007 10:43 pm US/Central
In Relationships, What's Attractive?
by Dennis Douda
(WCCO)
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Dr. Richelle Moen Moore said emotionally healthy people tend to see and present themselves in an attractive light.
CBS
A researcher from Cornell University said men and women look for different things in a mate.
In general, men seek youth and physical attractiveness in a partner, while women look for the ability to provide, like their job status.
So, what is attractive?
Pop culture certainly tries to tell us what is attractive, but when we're picking partners, do looks really matter?
Best-selling author and relationship counselor John Friel said yes.
"The physical attractiveness literature is pretty clear," Friel said. "People tend to pair up with partners who are equally physically attractive within one or two points."
"Well, certainly looks help, but I think it's personality," a woman said.
"Being able to laugh together," a man said.
Tastes certainly vary, but psychologist Dr. Richelle Moen Moore has advice to boost your odds of relationship success.
"Love thyself first," Moore said.
Moore said emotionally healthy people tend to see and present themselves in an attractive light. Similarly, there's a danger in just looking for someone "who completes you."
"Am I needy and I need for you to complete me so I feel good about myself, as oppose to having a nurturing relationship that we both benefit from it?" Moore asked.
So while initial attraction may be skin deep, be open to qualities that will hold your interest long after love at first sight.
Moore said if your relationships consistently unravel after about a year or so, you may benefit from counseling to see if you're unknowingly sabotaging yourself.
Moore also said you should remember there are two basic kinds of love: the euphoric passionate love, which actually sends your hormones into overdrive and compassionate love that should take over when the hormones subside.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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