Feb 28, 2007 7:30 pm US/Central
Relationships Need More Than Text Messages
by Jeanette Trompeter
(WCCO)
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A lot of people prefer to letting their fingers do the talking, but deny it's also an easy way to avoid conversations they don't want to have. (File)
AP
In this day and age, there are so many ways to communicate with each other. People meet online, they get to know each other via e-mail and some even arrange dates via text message.
You don't have to look far to see how technology has changed the way we connect.
Phones are no longer just for talking. In fact, a lot of people prefer to letting their fingers do the talking, but deny it's also an easy way to avoid conversations they don't want to have.
It's not the ideal way to communicate, say some experts, and may hint at larger problems in your relationship.
"If you are always taking the easy way in out in those situations, it probably means you are going to start taking the easy way out when you are in a committed relationship," said psychologist and author Dr. John Friel. "And that's big trouble."
According to Friel, technology has its place in romance, but once a relationships starts, beware.
"Using e-mail and text messaging as a crutch to avoid an uncomfortable conversation is a big mistake," said Friel.
Dating is practice for long-term love, Friel said, so hard conversations can only help you in the long run. If it's light-hearted banter, text away, but research shows 90 percent of emotional messages are non-verbal, which gets washed out in an e-mail or text.
"I would always rather look a woman in the eye, and if you can't look them in the eye at least hear a voice, hear the inflection of a voice," said one man in a Minneapolis bar, "because the subtleties of communication are all in that."
There is more potential for misunderstandings when you're not talking to someone face to face, or at the very least on the phone, Friel said.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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