Feb 6, 2007 7:22 pm US/Central
Learning About Yourself Through Dating
by Jeanette Trompeter
(WCCO)
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John Friel, author of "The Seven Best Things Happy Couples Do."
CBS
It's the month of love and WCCO-TV is getting with the program by taking a look at finding love, keeping love or rediscovering one that maybe needs a little spicing up.
For singles, Dr. Phil said you have to know what you're shopping for before you hit the market and you have to be looking for the right things.
"The only way to do that is by dating that I know of," author John Friel said. "There's no book, there's no seminar. The only way to do it is to get in and do the process of dating."
That's not exactly what a lot of singles want to hear.
"It can also be a headache," a woman said.
Dating is just what relationship expert Friel said people need to be doing. He and his wife wrote a book, "The Seven Best Things Happy Couples Do." They said dating is essential to learning what works for you and what doesn't.
"I'm a fan of it," one man said. "I think it's a good idea."
It is not as simple as filling up your calendar. Grown-up dating is a process of hurting and getting hurt.
"People that have this trail of former dates behind them that they can't seem to get rid of because they are afraid to say 'it's over' are usually having a problem with being clear and direct and taking that risk of being intimate," Friel said.
Have problems communicating early on and you'll probably have problems in your relationship when troubles arise.
You have to think of dating kind of like practice -- exercise to get you in shape for the big game.
It also allows a realistic assessment of what is out there and where you fit in the dating pool.
"They either think that they ought to be married to someone like Princess Diana if she were still around or they think they are not worthy of dating anyone other than someone in prison," Friel said.
Doing dating right means not only getting to know someone else, but getting to know yourself better.
"I enjoyed dating, but I love being married," a woman said.
Friel and other experts agree you do need to look for the "spark" thing and physical attraction is important.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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