Feb 5, 2007 7:23 pm US/Central
Learning Your Significant Other's Love Language
by Dennis Douda
(WCCO)
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Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages".
CBS
No matter your status, relationships seem to be a top priority during Valentine's month. What starts with a spark, needs communication to survive.
Think about it for a moment. What says "love" to you?
"It gives me a warm feeling when somebody touches me or gives me a hug," a woman said.
Is it a physical or a verbal sign?
"I guess the best way to do that is if I write something special for them personally," a man said.
Maybe it's a gesture.
"When they truly love you, they will help you around the house," another woman said.
As sure as men are from Mars and women are from Venus, the local Barnes and Noble has shelves full of explanations why we may need a relationship rescue.
While we may be inclined to dismiss this as a pop psychology shortcut, a family counselor at the University of Minnesota's Psychiatry Department said we may actually find some help in books, in learning to speak our partner's language.
Dr. Richelle Moen Moore said even when we care deeply for someone, our message may be lost.
"It feels like, you know what? He just doesn't get it," Moore said. "I don't even think he loves me."
That is why Moore often assigns the book, "The Five Love Languages" as homework for couples. Author Gary Chapman said depending on how we were raised or what our values are, we may express love as words, quality time, gifts, acts of service or physical touch.
"And what's important, whether it be in a dating relationship or in a long term relationship is that we learn the other person's language and what their needs are," Moore said. "So if someone's spouse really needs quality of time, you know, go out to breakfast. Go out for dinner without the children around."
Moore said it's the way to communicate emotional intimacy, loud and clear.
"The Five Love Languages" is ranked in Amazon.com's top 50 sellers.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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