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Dec 21, 2005 6:09 pm US/Central
Police Widow Faces First Christmas Without Husband
by Karla Hult
Forest Lake, Minn. (WCCO) ―
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Shawn and Jennifer Silvera
The wife of a fallen police officer is struggling to move forward, even as she remembers the past.
Jennifer Silvera, along with her son and baby daughter, is facing her first Christmas without her husband. Shawn Silvera, a Lino Lakes, Minn. police officer, was killed Sept. 6 when he was struck by a suspect who was fleeing police in a high-speed chase.
"It still feels like Shawn should be coming home tonight," Jennifer Silvera said. "It still feels so fresh and new."
The accident left a young family without a father: Son Jordan is two, and daughter Madeline is eight months old.
"I feel like I'm so lucky to have known Shawn," Jennifer Silvera said. "I just, every day, feel so blessed I had the opportunity to know him, love him, and be loved by him."
Life has continued for the Silvera family: Jordan celebrated his second birthday this past weekend; there was a trip to Honduras, where Jennifer and Shawn served in the Peace Corps, just this month.
"After his death, I felt this deep longing to go back to a place that I felt so many memories of him," she said. "Everything changes within an instant. It's not even half an hour or five minutes. It's a literal instant."
While she was in Honduras, Silvera bought paintings that reminded her of the flowers her husband often gave her. She had her hair braided by village girls, and she read a letter Shawn had written to her.
"We had written letters to each other on each anniversary, and then we sealed the letters only to be opened someday, we said to ourselves," she said. "I think both of us were able to express how our worlds were made complete with one another, and it was just good to hear his voice speaking through those words."
Where words are no longer possible, pictures must suffice.
Now Jennifer Silvera relishes her husband's legacy, living in her two children. Her children and her faith keep her going through the holidays, and through each day.
"I think someday I will thank them," she said. "I will thank Jordan and Madeline for helping me."
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