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Sep 14, 2009 1:01 pm US/Central
Americans Quick To Divorce, Remarry
MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) ―
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According to U.S. Census Bureau, American men marry for the first time at 27.5 years. Women two years earlier.
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When you go to the State Fair with little kids, they get off one ride and immediately want to get back on it.
According to Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University, grown-ups in our culture treat marriage the same way. Cherlin is the author of "The Marriage-Go-Round."
"My book is about how Americans have more partners -- more live-in partners and husbands and wives -- in their lives than do people than people in any other country," he said. "We just move in and out much faster than do people in any other country."
Cherlin compared Americans to people from other countries. He was surprised by what he found.
"An American child living with married parents has a higher likelihood of seeing that relationship break up than does a Swedish child living with unmarried parents. That's how much breakup and divorce there are in American lives," said Cherlin.
Cherlin contends that Americans bail out of marriages too soon. If all their needs aren't being met, they get out and look for something better.
William Doherty, a family social science professor at the University of Minnesota, says that churning -- quickly moving from one relationship to another -- is bad for kids.
"Children do not need the parents to be highly intimate emotionally, sexually fulfilled and having a great marriage," he said. "They just need parents to have an OK marriage."
Both Cherlin and Doherty encourage divorced parents to avoid the "marriage-go-round" by taking new relationships slowly. In fact, "Slow Down" is the title of the eighth chapter in Cherlin's book.
"You could tape up a card on your bulletin board that says, 'Slow down.' That says, 'Is this relationship going to be one that lasts? Does this relationship look like it's going to be good for my kids? Am I ready to move somebody into their household?' If the answer to those questions are no, take your time. It will be better for your kids, I believe," said Cherlin.
Americans divorce often. However, our age of first marriage has been inching up. That's encouraging, since marrying as a teen is an especially high risk factor for divorce.
According to U.S. Census Bureau, American men marry for the first time at 27.5 years. American women tie the knot for the first time about two years earlier.
Paula Engelking, Producer
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